Practice Makes Perfect

Benjamin Franklin's attempt to sway the reader to marry properly in “Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress" fails miserably in comparison to his list of reasons to chase a cougar. Franklin fools the audience into anticipating pithy wisdom in the beginning of the letter with phrases like, "A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal." Unbeknownst to the reader, he continues to write a few more lines of tongue-in-cheek marriage advice before relaying the list that puts into detail how he really feels about maximizing one's sexual potential; chasing older women. Franklin makes a pretty radical transition when he wisely advises the reader about the maturing state of a woman's physique; "So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one." Franklin’s letter was so controversial and graphic for its time that according to Wikipedia, "Federal court decisions from the mid- to late- twentieth century cited the document as a reason for overturning obscenity laws." This fact speaks to the raunchiness of the letter and reflects it's radical nature in that day and for years to come. Franklin does make some valid, more tasteful arguments when he describes older women as more knowledgeable of the world and more unlikely to have children. He tries to maintain some sort of “good guy” image when he warns that pursuing a young girl too early could ruin her life. I found it amazing that Franklin ends the list with the point, “They are so grateful!” It seems he could only acquire this belief and most of the others through personal experience. It makes me a little uncomfortable when I think about Franklin living his “paradox.” It is unreal that the same man who wrote, “If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient," also wrote, “Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion.” Ben obviously knew a little bit more about how to sneak around with the ladies than sustaining a traditional long-term relationship.

Perception of Sexual Conduct

There are very few topics as divisive as sex and the proper approach to monitoring or judging its presence within a society. A group’s attitude toward sexual behavior necessarily varies from one environment to another with changes in perception, authority, but most of all, purpose. The purpose of an intimate relationship is what defines the difference between Diderot and Franklin’s attitude toward what is proper and what is not. The culture of 18^th century America, with emphasis on an orderly and productive society where public perception of an individual was as, if not more, valuable than any material possession clearly opposes the Tahitian attitude of individualistic satisfaction and desire as natural and acceptable.

While Franklin focuses his advice to his friend as a practical application of a relationship as a factor in achieving success, Orou expounds upon the usefulness of accepting urges and emotions as practical in their own right. Both account for their belief as representing “the most Natural State of Man”, to use Franklins words. I was unable to help myself from debating how their contrasting attitudes would apply to a college atmosphere such as Vanderbilt’s that, whether you like it or not, is one abounding in sexual tension and impulse. What environment could possibly be more driven by sex than one comprised exclusively of motivated, driven students who cannot help but be constantly diverted by the stimulus of other maturing adolescent coeds? It is the perfect balance of Franklin’s success driven mindset and that of Orou’s raw and unconstrained naturalistic viewpoint. “Tell me” wrote Diderot, “is anything more worthy of your pursuit, anything that can make us happier than the possession and enjoyment of a being who thinks and feels as you do, who experiences the same sensations, the same ecstasies, who brings her affectionate and sensitive arms towards yours”? To me that describes much of what college is about. Isn’t that what motivates the constant texting, flirting, dancing etcetera that we all inevitably spend an inordinate portion of our college lives doing? Or is the drive to become a success, to move up in the world as an achieving adult with a job and reputation we are proud of, that we study all night for tests and interviews to obtain what college is all about? To me they are about the same thing in the end; getting where you want to be and having the best possible time in the process.

Conquering A Woman of Pleasure

John Cleland writes his “Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure” through the perspective of a promiscuous 18^th century mistress. There is some potential for the point of view of this mistress to provide an unusually progressive role for a female character. In the excerpt in which the mistress seduces her lover’s young messenger, we see the mistress take full control over her sexuality and use this agency to reduce this young man to an object of her control. This demonstration of strength and personal agency defies traditional 18^th century female stereotypes. However, as the passage moves forward, Cleland seems to slip into more traditional sexual roles for the two lovers, further confusing the role of traditional gender norms in this text.

This passage from “Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure” begins with a woman speaking of her sexual plans in a shockingly calculating way. She plans to seduce a young man who she sees as “every way a delicious instrument of (her) designed retaliation upon (her lover).” Listening to a woman speak so assertively about her sexual designs and observing her objectifying a man seems in many ways to flip traditional gender stereotypes on their heads. The surprising nature of the interaction between these two characters continues as we watch the mistress aggressively seduce the young man with all the cunning and force that one would expect of an unscrupulous bachelor seducing a young maiden.

However, more traditional, male-dominant roles begin to emerge once the scene becomes more deeply sexual. It is not surprising that this shift begins with the emergence of a penis. Once the mistress sees the young man’s penis, she seems to lose much of her agency and becomes subject to his “maypole of so enormous a standard that…it must have belong to a young giant.” After this point, the intercourse between the two lovers commences and the young man grows increasingly empowered, while the mistress grows increasingly a subject of his male power. The mistress describes “such a mixture of pleasure and pain as there is no giving a definition of” until she finally cries out “Oh, my dear, you hurt me!” However, the mistress enjoys this pain, inviting him to continue. Once the session is over, the mistress describes in (perhaps too much) detail of her “widened wounded passage” with “the marks of the ravage of that monstrous machine of his.”

While the passage begins with a unique dynamic in which a female character seems to be conquering a young man, once the physical aspects of sex take over, the two lovers seem to devolve into more traditional gender roles until the woman has been thoroughly conquered by the man and his penis.